Being through absolutely everything in life, I have come to dismiss almost all my fears.
Two remain, both new and never felt before.
The first would be the fear of death. I used to never feel like death could be scary at all. I felt that I was invincible. That I would live forever. That slowly changed, as I quickly watched how i could fall down a forty foot cliff. One wrong move and I would cease to exist. The situation was so intense, that after I was saved by a kind stranger, my life had flashed before my eyes.
The second would be heights. This is something that is buried deep within my subconscious mind. I have no control over it at all. Whenever I’m on a ladder or at a high altitude, my legs shake uncontrollably. I feel fine. Everything looks okay. I don’t consciously feel fear. Yet, when I jumped over a fence and broke two bones in my ankle, my subconscious mind just shatters to pieces in fear and forces me to act insecure and without any control in a situation that I used to be okay with.
These are my only two fears.
However, in the past, I feared many things.
I feared not being able to get the love of my life back.
I feared being alone forever.
I feared being poor and unable to reach my dreams.
I feared being seen as a scam, for being someone who was completely fake, untrue to myself.
I feared losing my soul.
I feared losing all my friends.
I feared missing my goals.
I feared failing others, especially myself.
I feared losing absolutely everything I had.
Yet, all of these happened, at some point and time. I made it through all of these without a problem.
Then two new fears arose. Two fears that I might never be able to overcome…
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Originally posted on Quora.
Leonard Kim is Managing Partner at InfluenceTree. At InfluenceTree, Leonard and his team teach you how to build your (personal or business) brand, get featured in publications and growth hack your social media following.
Hi Leonard! Thanks for the Twitter follow. Great “random” topic and I love the idea of speaking from what you are feeling for the day, month, year. So vulnerable and cool. Looking forward to learning more about you!! Still working on my masterpiece. My fear is definitely failure. Getting over it daily, as I manage a household, my dreams, and an occasional over indulgence in dark chocolate. Rock on!! Jenelle
Anytime Jenelle! Let me know how progress goes on your masterpiece!
Leonard, I read somewhere that the fear of heights, represent the fear of ambition symbolically. Can you find it within yourself to be worthy of being excellent? Is it possible to fear success? Would achieving success and being successful, living on your own life terms, do something to the narrative you live with and dialogue with yourself?
Food for thought.
On the fear of death, I read that this one is natural. Nietzsche has an answer to the fear of death. His solution is to look at the abyss, which shows an objective truth of life; existential aloneness. His proposal is that accepting existential aloneness as fact drives the individual’s focus on meaning due to the finiteness of life.
Perhaps it means you may want to hug the ones you have a little more and a little closer. Perhaps it means you may want to give more. Or it may mean to follow your vices.
In between the abyss concept of objective truth, I also try to balance it with the quote “a man’s got to know his limitations” from Dirty Harry.
In terms of the ego, we have abyss at one end, and the human limits at the other.
Acknowledging one’s limits(tentative) doesn’t mean one stops at the limits, it simply means one is aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. One can surpass their limits at a certain cost. It it worth it? Why?
So balance could mean knowing your strengths/weaknesses in order to work with others who balance you out, along with a sense of meaning after facing the abyss.
Somewhere between the limitations(which i strive to push everyday) and the abyss, do I personally find my Truth everyday.