Do I fantasize about hurting those who wronged me? I used to. I used to procure these elaborate plans to destroy the lives of the people who had wronged me. I had this huge list, and I was going to take them all down!
Then, one day, I was thinking… What’s the point?
I watched a whole series or two of that TV show Revenge, and I saw how unhappy the main character was, and how she just hid her feelings deep inside, then I thought…
I don’t really want to live this way… full of hate and deceit.
So, I threw away my list.
I tried to forgive everyone on the list. However, there were some people I just couldn’t forgive.
I feel better about myself now. I don’t feel stuck, like a victim to their actions, feeling I absolutely needed to go out of my way to plan my life to destroy them. It’s kind of relieving. It allows me to focus more on building myself, as opposed to wreaking havoc.
So… I guess I won’t anonymously be buying any interesting billboards or some other things in the future.
Originally posted on Quora.
Leonard Kim is Managing Partner at InfluenceTree. At InfluenceTree, Leonard and his team teach you how to build your (personal or business) brand, get featured in publications and growth hack your social media following.
0 thoughts on “Getting Back at Those Who Wronged You”
The only person you hurt when you boil inwardly with resentment to the point where you fantasize about hurting someone for revenge’s sake? The person staring you back from the mirror. Since most of the time we don’t do anything about it, chances are the object of your ire has no idea you feel that way. Far better to seek making amends and as much as you can manage, attempt reconciliation. Along the way you might well discover a share in the rift belongs with you.
Great points Eduardo!
There’s an old expression, don’t know who first said it, but it says that the best revenge is living well. When I was younger, I didn’t really get it, like you, I had my list like Arya Stark on GOT, lol, people who’d wronged me in personal ways, professional work, etc. that I figured I hurt whenever I could. As I grew older, I found that the more energy I devoted to building my business, marriage and life, that I had less energy or time to worry about them. I can’t say I have just forgiven their actions, that would require me to think of them and waste time/energy on them. I just chose to move forward with my life, give all I had to better things and in doing so, those very folks burned with envy that was more satisfying to see and hear about than anything I could have done to them.