How to Be Happy Without Convincing Yourself You Are

Someone on Quora asked me:

“How can one be happy, without having to convince themselves that they are? I know this question sounds stupid at first, but hear me out. I have no reason to be unhappy. I have good friends and family. Got a good job. No health or financial concerns. I know that, and I am grateful for that. Except, I find myself having to tell myself that more often than I would want to. Almost everyday. I don’t think I can find an answer, but I hope I am not the only one who feels that way.”

I responded:

Happiness isn’t a destination, as most people are proclaimed to perceive.  It is a way of life.

In order to be happy, we need to look at that one triangle that psychologists use.

How to Be Happy without Convincing Yourself You Are2

Most of us fail to get the first part of this triangle down–the breathing, eating, water, sleep, and etc. I’d recommend sleeping eight hours a day, eating at least two meals, exercising, and just taking care of yourself.

After that, you need friends and family.

Then, you need self esteem.  I guess this is where a lot of people fall short.  I think it’s because we live in a society where it’s all about me, me, and me.  To break this, what we need to do is create an attitude of gratitude, paired by abundance. In order to do that, we need to change our thought process.

What I do, to be happy, is on my bus ride to work, I think of at least three things that I’m grateful for.  It helps me start the day on a positive note.  Then, every chance I get, I offer my time to volunteer on some type of cause.  Another thing I do to be happy is that I refuse to live in the past (or the future).  Instead, I try to live in the moment and take life as it comes, while I smell the flowers and play in the grass.

Maybe that will work for you, maybe it won’t.  All I know is that it works for me… and I’m happy!


Originally posted on Quora.

Leonard Kim is Managing Partner at InfluenceTree. At InfluenceTree, Leonard and his team teach you how to build your (personal or business) brand, get featured in publications and growth hack your social media following.

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