Why Your Feelings About Your Friends’ Circle of Friends Shouldn’t Matter

I had my birthday on the 21st of December.  I decided to have it at Takami.  I reserved a table for eight.  I have no clue how many people told me they would show up, but I didn’t believe any of them.  When my party had arrived, I ordered the perfect amount of chairs.

There was Julia, who I met at a Zaarly party.

Clarrie was there, who I know from work.

Sugy was there, who I met randomly through this crazy girl who told me she wanted to marry me.  Yes, great things can come from horrible situations.

Jay showed up, who I’ve known since high school.

Allen showed up, who I know through my other friend Daniel.

David showed up, whom I first met walking into a loft I shared with a friend, at a birthday party, with eight women on his shoulders.

Ahmed showed up, whom I used to work with at a startup back in 2009.

None of these people have the same concentric circles.  None of these people know each other.

Normally, when I go to birthday parties, I come to find that everyone is cliqued up, so when I arrive, I’m just the awkward outcast.  At my birthday, no one knows each other, so they’re all forced to talk to each other.

I don’t know any of the circles of my friends.  I met a few here and there.  Some I like.   Some I don’t.  But I’m friends with these people because I hang out with them on an individual basis.  Not because I care about who or what their friends are.  So if I don’t care, then neither should you.

Originally posted on Quora.

Leonard Kim is Managing Partner at InfluenceTree. At InfluenceTree, Leonard and his team teach you how to build your (personal or business) brand, get featured in publications and growth hack your social media following.

0 thoughts on “Why Your Feelings About Your Friends’ Circle of Friends Shouldn’t Matter”

  1. Whatever happened to the crazy girl, the one who wasn’t at the party?

    Anyway, in reference to your last paragraph, I think you have a good mindset.

      • You’d figure that she would get the message, but oh well. I think it’s kind of a double standard for men and women in this type of a scenario. If the roles were reversed, she would be accusing you of harassment, etc. Yet, she thinks it’s okay to keep bothering you. *sigh*

        (I am assuming, based on context, that this person isn’t a friend of yours but merely an acquaintance.)


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