On Quora, a girl asked:
“I was recently rejected from Harvard (I’m a high school senior). I’ve worked harder than anyone I know to make it – everyone has told me for years that I would get in. I don’t know what I could have done to improve, and it feels like I’ve just wasted my entire life and still come up short.
People will say that I’ll go where I was meant to be and everything, but I just feel inadequate and frustrated. How can I feel better about this?”
This is how I responded:
What’s so cool about Harvard?
I barely got into my community college.
They said they wouldn’t accept me if I didn’t find my High School degree. Do you know how long that took to find? I’m 29 years old, and I was in community college.
Lame, isn’t it?
Well, I have difficulty getting into anywhere. I have not only been rejected by everyone, but also by every single thing as well.
I wanted my grandpa to live forever. He got Alzheimer’s, forgot who I was and then died.
I wanted to be loved. I made the worst possible friends.
I wanted to live comfortably, but my mom lost everything, so we could only eat rice with soy sauce and a single egg once a day.
I wanted to be with this girl I fell in love with. She stole my Louis Vuitton wallet and ran away.
I wanted to be with my best friend. She pushed me away.
I wanted to get my wallet back. My friend who was dating her sister stole it back for me. Wow, I actually got something back!
I wanted to marry the girl who stole my wallet. She left my life and rejected me.
I wanted to make a business. I piled myself into a ton of debt.
I wanted to pay off all my debts. The bill collectors kept calling and harassing me, because they knew I couldn’t.
I wanted to make $600k a year in real estate. The housing market crashed and the banks didn’t care that they said my loans were approved a month prior.
I wanted to be a big time stock broker at an investment fund. The stock market crashed.
I wanted my boss to fix my car like he promised. He got me sued instead.
I wanted to make $4k a month plus commission at AXA Equitable. I couldn’t pass the tests.
I wanted to eat a $45 steak. My electricity went out because I couldn’t pay my bills for six months. Have you ever taken your microwave into the hallway of an apartment complex just to warm up a hot pocket you bought five minutes ago from 7-11 with money that you were supposed to use for rent?
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my Louis Vuitton wallet. I lost it on a drunken night while I was in a complete stupor, after dropping food all over my clothes.
I wanted to be rich. I ended up poor and losing my car and my home.
I wanted my grandma to stop yelling at me. I got the worst job in the world that paid $2,300 for nine months worth of work. That comes out to about $255.55 a month. Minimum wage is $1280. Oh, and my grandma didn’t stop yelling at me.
I wanted to move back to LA. I lived on a sofa. I didn’t even get my own room.
I wanted to make a nightlife based startup. My programmer ran off with everything, even the money we paid him, without delivering a single product.
I wanted to move to this amazing home on South Miracle Mile. The house was leased a day before I submitted the paperwork.
I wanted to go to a grassy field with a tree in the middle to unwind. I ended up going to a desert and almost died falling off a rock, then had to be rescued.
I wanted to run a bar. My investor went to jail.
I wanted to enjoy my time with this girl in my hotel room. She kicked me out and ordered a love kit on my tab.
I wanted to go die. My ex took that away from me too by coming to save me.
I wanted to celebrate my birthday with a cigar. There was a sheriff levy on my bank account and my account was drained due to the lawsuit I was sued for prior. I couldn’t buy the cigar.
I wanted to go to bed because I was wasted like no tomorrow. Instead, I broke two bones in my ankle and was out of commission for three months.
I told my best friend that I will always love her no matter what. She vanished and disconnected herself from the whole world.
I wanted to make a clothing line. My business partner called me crazy and quit. It was originally her idea to start the business.
I wanted a promotion at the job I was at for the past two and a half years. I’m still in the exact same entry level position I started at.
I wanted to meet this amazing woman from London. She called me mad (which means crazy) and disappeared.
You know what I did to fix all my problems?
I remembered a quote my old mentor told me.
He said, “Without expectation, there is no disappointment.”
So, I stopped expecting results from the actions I made.
I stopped wanting things.
Then, the world stopped rejecting me.
After I stopped caring about what I could take from the world, I decided what I could give back instead. And, I was able to be happy again. Things started to come my way.
So, what’s so bad about not getting into Harvard again?
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Originally posted on Quora.
Leonard Kim consults startups and writes books like The Etiquette of Social Media: How to Connect and Respond to Others in the World of Social Media