Why Is It so Hard for Me to Accept Financial Assistance?

Someone on Quora asked: 

A close relative offered to split an unexpected bill with me.  I accepted the offer, and I am grateful for it.  Why does my pride feel hurt?  How do I stop feeling that way and joyfully accept the gift?

This was my response:

Because you are set on the fact that you should earn everything you get.

When I used to go to church, I wouldn’t eat the free food. When my friends offered to pay for meals, I wouldn’t accept. When the bill came, I always took it.

After some time, things started falling apart. My income started to drop. My resources were beginning to deplete. I was about to be left with nothing. Yet, here I was, stuck with this concept that I was some type of successful person, a provider unwilling to accept the help of others.

Let’s just say that I was stubborn for months upon months until I finally came to realize that I should probably accept help. But by accepting help, I had to give up the image I had once painted of myself, both to others and myself. I felt like I wasn’t who I had thought I was anymore.

By accepting help from others, you feel like you lost a part of your own identity as well.

Originally posted on Quora.

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