I know how you feel. I once felt the same way. There was a time where I thought, “My depression is scaring people, especially myself.”
I didn’t know what to do. Everyday was exactly the same. I was miserable. I hated myself. Sometimes, I even wished that tomorrow would never come. I hid in my bed, under the covers for weeks at a time, avoiding society and everyone I could.
There were even occasions where I just wished I was dead. On one occasion, I even started to contemplate suicide. I thought of the ratios of death per each particular situation and what would be the most painless. I figured the only way I could nearly guarantee death was by jumping off the freeway at the exact moment a car was heading 65 mph underneath me.
What a horrid way to go… Imagine the trauma the driver of the vehicle would experience forever… I couldn’t possibly do something like that to someone, no matter how much I wanted to just die.
After a while though, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I needed a change, and I needed it badly.
What I found to help me in the situation were a few key points.
Have an attitude of gratitude. Think of all the things you are thankful for. Try to think positively. Every time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, snap a rubber band on your wrist and interrupt the pattern.
Make friends who love you and love them back. There is nothing more important than truly feeling love for the people in your life.
Give back to others and expect nothing in return. You will feel much happier in positively impacting the lives of others. It will bring a sense of satisfaction and purpose in your life.
Talk about your problems. Whether you seek out a friend or professional help, it doesn’t really matter. Just don’t hold those feelings inside. They will change you from who you truly are and eventually turn you into a monster that you’ll end up loathing. You’ll hate the person you become, much like I have.
Picture your tragedies in life as a movie. Take yourself out the scenario. Pretend you weren’t even there and you’re watching the big screen, eating popcorn and enjoying a show. You’ll see a new meaning to the situation at hand. You’ll be able to understand why the other party did what they did, and whether their intentions were of your best interest or not.
Many people have difficulty sharing how they feel and end up saying things that hurt you, however they only mean the best. When my mother used to tell me that I couldn’t do certain things, I was finally able to understand that she wasn’t saying that she didn’t believe in me. What she was really trying to say was… I tried something like this, but I failed, and I don’t want you to feel the same type of emotion I did when I failed. Never would I have an insight like this into the life of my mother, if I didn’t take a time to take my emotions out of the scenario.
Find a mentor. Find someone whom you can look up to and become like. They can share their experiences of life with you and how they overcame them. We’re all human after all. We’re not much different from each other. We’ve all went through the same hardships, the same emotional turmoil, the same pain, whether it looks the same or not.
Next, go to the book store. Buy an e-Reader. Then buy Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements. Read a few books by Anthony Robbins. Maybe listen to a few audio CDs by Jim Rohn. Just peruse through everything you can, primarily in the self help section, and learn new techniques and ways to deal with your unhappiness through the advice of others.
It won’t happen overnight. But in due time… Whether it be months, or even years…. You’ll eventually be happy.
Just take it one baby step at a time.
Originally posted on Quora.
Leonard Kim is Managing Partner at InfluenceTree. At InfluenceTree, Leonard and his team teach you how to build your (personal or business) brand, get featured in publications and growth hack your social media following.