It’s simple. Fail many times. Over and over. Have high expectations and be crushed. After a while, you will no longer have any type of negative emotion, after you go through it all.
What I did was I stopped caring about what people thought of me or what I did.
When I saw others peoples actions, especially the ones that hurt, at first I didn’t know what to do. Fortunately, I was presented with advice to watch over a scenario and watch it like a movie.
My mother used to always tell me that I couldn’t achieve what I believed in. I thought she hated me. After reflecting back and viewing it from an outside perspective, I understood why she told me what she did.
The reason was because she has tried many things in her life and failed. She wanted to protect me from the pain of failure that she had. However, she didn’t know how to communicate that to me, so I took it as emotional pain instead. I couldn’t understand why she kept telling me this until I could finally see what she was talking about from her perspective.
Once I figured that out, I understood that people don’t really do things to hurt each other. They do it because of something that triggered in their life.
I just try my best to understand why people do what they do. I take myself out of the scenario. I don’t look at anything as an attack.
Maybe someone was abused as a child. Maybe they were having a bad day. Maybe they’re running away from something and their behavior has gone erratic. Maybe they have trouble communicating their true feelings.
No one really wants to hurt you. They just don’t know how to express their own feelings.
This is what led me to fail in life:
Blueprints: the Ultimate Guide on How to Thoroughly Screw up Your Life
This shows my personal outline on what I did to overcome it all:
What I Did When I Realized That My Work Was Pointless
This is exactly what I went through and what I felt when I lost everything:
Being on Top of the World, to Losing It All
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Originally posted on Quora.
Leonard Kim is Managing Partner at InfluenceTree. At InfluenceTree, Leonard and his team teach you how to build your (personal or business) brand, get featured in publications and growth hack your social media following.